Morning of Migraines & Temper Tantrums

I love my children dearly, but there is one thing I can’t stand; temper trantums.  The very sound of a child wailing is like nails on a chalk board.  My daughter decided to throw one this morning, she’s ten.  I thought after age three they’d be done.  I was wrong… very, very wrong.  My sweet, loving, smart daughter is often ruled by her emotions.  She controls them quite well at school.  Her teachers think she’s a delight.  She saves all her frustrations for at home, lucky me!

So this morning I’m curled up in bed trying to control yet another migraine and in my child prances in to play with the dog.  We keep the dog in our bedroom for two reasons; 1st so she doesn’t eat the cat food before the cat and 2nd she can’t rough house with the kids without our supervision.  This is for her safety, not the kids.  When you are battling a migraine the last thing you want to hear is the high pitched squeals of child and the barking of a dog all while shaking the floor with their playing.  I told my daughter that Mommy doesn’t feel good and to please go watch tv instead.  Despite the blinding pain behind my eyes, I was fairly patient.  I’ve had ten years to practice.  She pouted, stommped out and left the door wide open.  The dog takes off, I hear the cat hissing in the kitchen (there goes her food!) and the kids begin a free for all.  I stumbled my sorry ass out of bed, rounded up the dog, fed the cat – again – and put on PBS Kids.  When all was calm again I crawled right back under the covers. 

Two minutes later the door creaks open and in creeps my daughter.  This time she thinks by crawling on the floor somehow I won’t know she’s there.  Before the playing can commence I once more tell her to go watch tv.  She sweetly asks, “But Mooooommmm!  Why can’t I stay in heeeeere and play with the doooogggg?!?”  Her whining goes right through me and I said the one word she can’t stand, “No!”.  This time she breaks down.  I mean this kid should be strapped to the top of fire truck en route to a fire she screams so loud.  I can’t deal with the screaming so I send her to her room.  Of coarse, she’s not about to stay in there, so begins the back and forth of her opening her door, screaming into the hallway and me closing the door.  Let me tell you, not slamming that door took all the effort I had left.

My daughter does not throw these tantrums out of spite, she really has a hard time controlling how she feels.  I can understand that overwhelming sense of frustration, but screaming and whailing is not acceptable.  After a few rounds of the door thing I go in to try and calm her down.  It’s like preparing for combat without the protective gear.  I’ve learned a few things over the years; yelling doesn’t work, it only makes things worse; spanking doesn’t work, it really makes things worse; talking calmly works only sometimes.  It wasn’t working this morning.  So I took a time out.  I closed my own door, downed a couple of Excedrin and waited.  It didn’t take long for the raging creature that was once my child to come barreling into my room.  Out of the blue I offered her a sip of my tea, she stopped screaming in a nano second and just looked at me.  I have no idea why that worked, but I’ll take it.  I was starting to get desperate.  We talked about why she couldn’t play with the dog, why Mommy needs to rest and why trantums don’t work.  She’s ten, I don’t expect her to understand everything, but basic listening shouldn’t be beyond her understanding.  Finally an hour after the drama began I was finally able to get rid of that damn migraine! 

Sometimes being a mom really pushes me to the limits.  When all was said and done, for the rest of the day she was my little girl again.  There were moments I would stop what I was doing and just stare in wonder because in no way was this child the same raving lunatic of this morning.  The emotional changes a child can go through are amazing, I’m just glad I survived this time.  I had my doubts.